a life outside my own

i usually take the seat right next to a window. not only does it make traveling interesting or fun... it somehow gives a purpose of where you're headed.

i love long-distance drives and depending on my mood, the music on the car stereo could vary from dance music to love songs. sometimes i just listen to it, other times i sing along while enjoying the view from the car window. aside from the endless chatter, the other fun part of long distance drives are those stop-overs and photo shoots of scenic views.

as a child, i used to spend my afternoons sitting on the window sill. till now, i have no idea why. of course we need doors to get in and out of our houses. but except for the usual ventilation thing or the somewhere-to-hang-the-curtains thing or the letting-the-sunshine-in thing, what are windows really for? cars have windows, trains, planes, even solitary confinement cells have a window... a wee bit small, but still there's a one.

my guess is, there is a need for everyone to be able to look somewhere else from time to time. the same way we look to others when things in our life gets tough. then with a sigh of relief comes a realization that things are not as bad as it seems.

as an adult, i remember spending a lot of time looking out my window at night, as if the answer to my inability to sleep was out there. eventually i realized that it did. while i was dying inside, i saw a lot of living going on outside. it was then that i decided to get away from my window, open the door and step out.

windows aren't made for going out anyway--they merely allow you to feel a little sunshine, a little air and give you a glimpse of what's outside till you decide to use the door and rejoin the world.

and as i am writing this piece, i have come to understand why i sat on the window sill as a child. while the adults in the family were off to work and school, i was left at home with our housekeeper. looking out the window made me feel a little less alone.