d a d

he is a man of very few words, quiet, unassuming, his dark skin tanned by site inspections and games of tennis. he was my father-in-law and i had been married two years before he finally spoke to me.

oh, he would sometimes ask "have you eaten?" or "why aren't you sleeping yet?" or "where's Mom?" or "where's B?"... but it was only two years after that he opened up, spoke and laughed with me.

i used to wonder whether he resented me for having married his son so early, or if he simply didn't like me. i used to watch him sitting across me during meals... he barely spoke or batted an eyelash. he just sat there, quietly consuming his meal while everyone else has had something to say.

months went on and the only thing i could say to him was "would you like a cup of coffee?", or simply hand him an ashtray. i do not recall if he even looked at me but everytime Mom went ballistic towards me, it was him who stood in the middle. not really saying anything, but it was enough to comfort me.

things began to change the first time he asked me to cut his hair. each time his hair would grow, he would ask me to trim it and color it black to hide the graying ones. i would tease him about his thinning crown of glory and suggested a fancy toupee to make him look younger. a toupee, and a smaller eyeglasses frame to whisk 20 years away. he would heartily laugh, and then grow quiet. i always believed he was contemplating on doing exactly that.

when i took up Physical Therapy, i used to hitch a ride with him going back to Manila. we talked a lot during those long drives, the topics of which i dared not tell my husband, much less Mom. our talks were sometimes serious but often times they were ridiculous stuff and it's funny how i can always make him laugh. he was no longer a father-in-law, he became my dad. he shared things with me that i guess he would not be so willing to share with his own children.

other times, he would take me to site inspections. or if he has to attend a meeting, he would leave me in the car to sleep the time away. along the way, he would ask if i was hungry each and every time we pass by a fast food joint.

he used to drop by the office where i worked to inform me that he won at their poker game the night before and hand me a few bills. "balato, pandagdag sa panggastos," (a hand-out to help dent your expenses) he would say. he is also a good singer and we often videoked, one-on-one, songs from his era. when i got good grades from my PT subjects, he rewarded me with a mid-cut caterpillar shoes. i still have them with me.

when B and i separated and finally got annulled, it felt like i also lost a father. it took a while before we got in touch again. not on a regular basis, but we do -- on special occasions, on not-so-special occasions, or simply no occasion at all.

Happy Birthday Dad, i sure miss our little chit-chats. take care of yourself always and thank you for being one great father-in-law. you were one of the nicest part about having been married to B.

P.S.
i hope you got the pictures i sent of your great granddaughters Ayel and Anya.