annulment 101

when you have been notified as respondent in an annulment case, the first thing you do is find a lawyer. ummn... no. let me rephrase that -- the first thing you do is cry, and then find a lawyer. that is, if you want to file counter charges so you don't come out a complete loser... or dork... in my case, it was a matter of wanting to set things straight and to be able to render facts intentionally omitted by petitioner.

"but that's just the way it is," my boss told me. "why on earth do you want to file counter charges for?" he asked.

"but it isn't all true, most of it," i said. "the facts of our marriage have been twisted and turned into his favor. and it will be documented as is if i don't say anything."

"do you have any plans of running for public office?" he continued.

"whaa...? no!" i said.

"then what the hell. as long as he is paying, let him."

it turned out that my petitioner's girlfriend wanted to get married, hence, the annulment.

pouring my heart out, i believe is a very personal matter, so finding a lawyer i can be comfortable with was a consideration. since i never imagined i would be in a civil lawsuit one day, i didn't know of any. my mom got in touch with her friend who has a brother who has a classmate whose brother-in-law is a civil lawyer. now, why didn't i just let my fingers do the walking and browsed through the yellow pages?!?

after talking with him on the phone, my lawyer asked me to go to his house in kamias, quezon city so we can discuss the details of my case. i gave him a copy of my written answer to the petition. he said he would write the petitioner's lawyer and ask for an extension because he is going abroad for some business, and could i please deposit P15,000 into his account before he leaves.

when he came back after a month, he asked me to go to his office in ortigas so i can sign the counter charge documents he has prepared for me. it was the one i had written and which he copied word for word (wrong spellings for his account). after signing the documents, he told me he was having it delivered that same day and could i please deposit another P5,000 into his account. now i am slowly beginning to feel comfortable.

a preliminary hearing was set between petitioner, me and our lawyers to appear before the prosecutor. funny thing happened... my lawyer was nowhere in sight. i attended the hearing by myself. i called him up when i got home and he told me that he was there, he just didn't find the room assigned to us.

"you got lost for two hours? why didn't you ask around?" i said.

"could you please deposit another P5,000 into my account?" he asked.

"for what?" i asked back. "to be honest, i no longer care if they write me off as a nut. i think we'll both be better off with the annulment. i no longer wish to attend hearings if only to make the process faster. i will not be needing your services anymore."

"don't you want your annulment to be based on his incompetence rather than yours?" he said.

(i could've said "or yours, maybe?") "it's just paper, really. no matter how many times they declare me psychologically incapacitated, they can't make me one. the only ones who know the story of our marriage is petitioner and me. besides, we do need justifiable grounds, don't we? one of us has to be the psycho. if it has to be me, then so be it."

that was how i came to be a certified nut.