rummaging through boxes this weekend, i chanced upon old photo albums. there i was as a child... pics with my grandparents, with my mom, with uncles and aunts, with cousins. there were also several photos of me with our great dane, Bessie. photos of my confirmation with godparents... wait just one min, little Ayel looks like me when i was her age!
in sepia or brown (i wonder why they weren't in color?) were my class pictures from grade one to high school. staring at them, i successfully named my former classmates one by one.
santacruzan pictures -- i was reyna elena twice with the same consorte who now has 8 kids with four different mothers. more photos of me as a teen-ager -- celebrating birthdays with friends, swimming at the beach, JS prom photos, senior prom... i saw my senior prom date six years ago while hearing mass and he was going bald.
pictures with best friends Em and Li. Em, whom i haven't seen in more than twenty years stood as godmother to my son. same with Li who went to work in italy. last we spoke she said she married an italian.
high school graduation pictures -- we all wore a see-through-blue-pleated dress for that occasion. and "remembrance" shots with closest friends.
now look what we have here -- my old wedding pictures! no wonder the priest didn't even shook our hands after the ceremony. we really were much too young to be getting married! why haven't i thought of that before?
that's me when i was heavy with my son R... what's the matter with my nose? seemed swollen.
pics of my son a few days after he was born, his baptism (hey, there's Em), his birthdays, his first christmas and new year... the first time i gave him a bath, with his dad, with his uncles, aunt and grandparents... several family reunion photos (from his dad's side).
more photos of R -- class pictures, school activities, pics at the zoo, in tagaytay, in baguio, in batangas, at the beach, in Luneta...
my college pictures with friends and classmates -- i was married before i graduated. golly, i looked awful in my graduation picture! i never framed them.
more pics of R growing up...
two whole albums of me with my officemates... another filled with pictures with my mba classmates. there were even several shots taken at the ferry we rode on the way to Bataan.
pictures of former suitors with funny dedications. well thought of, but funny anyway.
i got to thinking -- i have met thousands of people in my lifetime, my own family included. could've been hundreds of thousands, but then i haven't kept count.
just how do we know who's going to stay and be part of our lives the same way we are going to be in theirs? is it fate that decides that, or do we? quite remarkable how a simple acquaintance could lead to an enduring friendship... or an unusual circumstance leading to a lifetime partnership. i guess one will never really know. the most important thing is, there was always something learned from the impressions they've left behind.
i have new albums with new pictures -- new albums for a new life. the stack of photos grow thicker everyday... R with his little Ayel... me and Ayel with our faces pressed together... mom with little Ayel...
and what's this? a girl in a green gown wearing a tiara. it's my tita, (Rosanna) who being only 3 or 4 years older than i am became more of a barkada. turning her picture over was this dedication which goes "in case your memory bits to remembrance..." married to an arab, she has since made her home in the middle east.
girl, wherever you are... what exactly did you mean by that?!?
24 June 2007
distant shores
Sweet soft summer nights
Dancing shadows in the distant lights
You came for me to follow
And we kissed on distant shores
Long quiet hours of play
Sounds of tomorrow from yesterday
Love came for me to follow
And we kissed on distant shores
The careful glance of children playing
Raindrops fall as if they're saying
Quiet thoughts of you caressed by time
The breeze of summer's gone
Whispered memories as nights grow long
You came for me to follow
And we kissed on distant shores
Dancing shadows in the distant lights
You came for me to follow
And we kissed on distant shores
Long quiet hours of play
Sounds of tomorrow from yesterday
Love came for me to follow
And we kissed on distant shores
The careful glance of children playing
Raindrops fall as if they're saying
Quiet thoughts of you caressed by time
The breeze of summer's gone
Whispered memories as nights grow long
You came for me to follow
And we kissed on distant shores
in your eyes
I think I finally know you
I can see beyond your smile
I think that I can show you
That what we have is still worthwhile
Don't you know that love's just like the thread
That keeps unraveling but then
It ties us back together in the end
In your eyes, I can see my dream's reflections
In your eyes, found the answers to my questions
In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love's alive
In your eyes, we're drifting safely back to shore
And I think I've finally learned to love you more
You warned me that life changes
That no one really knows
Whether time would make us strangers
Or whether time would make us grow
Even though the winds of time will change
In a world where nothing stays the same
Through it all our love will still remain
In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love's alive
In your eyes, we're drifting safely back to shore
And I think I've finally learned to love you more
I can see beyond your smile
I think that I can show you
That what we have is still worthwhile
Don't you know that love's just like the thread
That keeps unraveling but then
It ties us back together in the end
In your eyes, I can see my dream's reflections
In your eyes, found the answers to my questions
In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love's alive
In your eyes, we're drifting safely back to shore
And I think I've finally learned to love you more
You warned me that life changes
That no one really knows
Whether time would make us strangers
Or whether time would make us grow
Even though the winds of time will change
In a world where nothing stays the same
Through it all our love will still remain
In your eyes, I can see the reasons why our love's alive
In your eyes, we're drifting safely back to shore
And I think I've finally learned to love you more
21 June 2007
elvis wants to be a teddy bear
still yawning as i commuted my way to the office this morning, my husband P and i sat across a stocky man with short wavy hair wearing black shirt over jeans. nothing unusual about him -- just a regular guy, i suppose.
aside from the customary dust, traffic and honking horns, the ride was uneventful. as we were traversing Kalayaan Avenue, i heard a faint and inaudible sound. looking around, i tried locating where it was coming from. the man sitting in front of us was looking out the window, but his lips were moving. i looked away.
as we were turning left to N. Garcia, the sound became louder and clearer.
i don't wanna be a tiger
coz tigers play too rough
i don't wanna be a lion
coz lions ain't the kind you love enough
just wanna be your teddy beaaarrr...!
he was not only singing, he was also rocking his head and slapping his thighs to the beat of his song. we tried not to stare for he seemed to be in a world of his own, having the nicest of time. he was still singing and head-banging when i got off my stop.
smiling as i walked on, i still didn't think there was anything unusual about him. the morning ride wasn't uneventful and boring, after all.
aside from the customary dust, traffic and honking horns, the ride was uneventful. as we were traversing Kalayaan Avenue, i heard a faint and inaudible sound. looking around, i tried locating where it was coming from. the man sitting in front of us was looking out the window, but his lips were moving. i looked away.
as we were turning left to N. Garcia, the sound became louder and clearer.
i don't wanna be a tiger
coz tigers play too rough
i don't wanna be a lion
coz lions ain't the kind you love enough
just wanna be your teddy beaaarrr...!
he was not only singing, he was also rocking his head and slapping his thighs to the beat of his song. we tried not to stare for he seemed to be in a world of his own, having the nicest of time. he was still singing and head-banging when i got off my stop.
smiling as i walked on, i still didn't think there was anything unusual about him. the morning ride wasn't uneventful and boring, after all.
20 June 2007
LA-LA-LA to you
i was not born a singer and i don't think i have what it takes to become one. a pro, is what i mean. sure i can sing... to myself while cooking or taking a shower, during videoke night outs with friends or office christmas parties where it was mandatory to belt a song or two. we used to go to bars along remedios in malate where the audiences were encouraged to participate onstage. i dared not.
when my son R was born, i became a regular singer... and composer. i would talk to him in ad-libbed songs. i had a song for him while giving him a bath, one for putting him to sleep, one for amusing him and still others when i played with him or danced him around.
twenty three years later, our little ayel was born and i've started singing again. upon waking up, i greet her with a song, like "good morning ayel... good morning ayel... good morning ayeeeeeel...". nothing fancy, just a tune to go with it.
little ayel would eye me quizzically each time i sang to her. i am not sure if that meant she was enjoying it or simply mental telepathy-ing me to read her thoughts which implored "cut it out mami, you're driving me nuts!"
i do not know if my mom sang to me when i was a child. all i know is, she talks to her dogs like a song.
when my son R was born, i became a regular singer... and composer. i would talk to him in ad-libbed songs. i had a song for him while giving him a bath, one for putting him to sleep, one for amusing him and still others when i played with him or danced him around.
twenty three years later, our little ayel was born and i've started singing again. upon waking up, i greet her with a song, like "good morning ayel... good morning ayel... good morning ayeeeeeel...". nothing fancy, just a tune to go with it.
little ayel would eye me quizzically each time i sang to her. i am not sure if that meant she was enjoying it or simply mental telepathy-ing me to read her thoughts which implored "cut it out mami, you're driving me nuts!"
i do not know if my mom sang to me when i was a child. all i know is, she talks to her dogs like a song.
17 June 2007
13 June 2007
kitchen exercises
watching my grandma in the kitchen used to be a source of delight so it was not surprising that learning how to cook became a fascination for me. in my teens, it evolved into a chore. when i got married it somehow became an asset especially if one was to be judged by what one can do around the kitchen. years later, it became a therapy -- something i did to get things off my mind.
is cooking a talent or a skill, my son asked. it's either one i guess, or both.
i got exposed to kitchen work even before i entered first grade. my first duty was to remove skins from onions and garlic, by hand. i was not yet allowed to use the peeler. i would simply gawk at that little gadget, hoping to be assigned with the potatoes.
i waited patiently till grandma felt confident i was competent to handle the peeler and strip those potatoes off their skin. i remember being so excited about finally getting hold of that stainless thing that i peeled a little skin off my finger. from potatoes, other veggies followed--carrots, sayote (chayote), kalabasa (squash), labanos (raddish), gabi (taro), patola (ribbed gourd).... but all the time that i was peeling, i was eyeing the kitchen knife, studying it's movements. "soon", i told myself, "soon, you will be slicing, chopping, dicing, cubing..."
the first time grandma handed the knife to me, she watched ever so closely. over and over she cautioned me to be very careful and keep my fingers away from the blade lest i cut it. it didn't take long for the knife and i to get acquainted for i was already cutting away effortlessly. eventually, grandma would ask me to taste and stir her concoction once in a while. and i knew that anytime, it would soon be me standing in front of the fire. till then, i watched, observed and tinkered.
i cooked my first dish at nine. it was stir-fried baguio beans with ground meat, i remember quite distinctly. it was a little salty, but "impressive for a first try", my grandma commented. from then on, i was tasked to do the cooking for simple dishes which consisted mostly of fried fish and stir-fried veggies.
grandma said that if one cooks, one should also know how to buy them. she would give me pointers on how a fresh fish should look like... even smell like. leafy veggies should be bright green. carrots, onions and potatoes firm. tomatoes should be shiny, she added. my mom, on the other hand, taught me how to quarter-cut a whole chicken.
aside from the standard ingredients, as a young girl i would also create my own. i've come up with stir-fried pansit bihon with pechay, ginisang munggo with eggplant (or potatoes, whichever is available). it might sound strange, but what was stranger still was that it actually tasted okay.
i became more experimental when i became a mom and would come up with new dishes every now and then. i was not too afraid to try on new spices and will keep on stirring and mixing till i found the taste i sought. i guess one's tongue get accustomed somehow for i can duplicate a dish just by tasting.
one thing i learned, though... it isn't advisable to cook when you are unhappy for you come up with food tasting just like the way you feel. order take out. that way you wouldn't have to nurse a broken heart on an empty stomach.
is cooking a talent or a skill, my son asked. it's either one i guess, or both.
i got exposed to kitchen work even before i entered first grade. my first duty was to remove skins from onions and garlic, by hand. i was not yet allowed to use the peeler. i would simply gawk at that little gadget, hoping to be assigned with the potatoes.
i waited patiently till grandma felt confident i was competent to handle the peeler and strip those potatoes off their skin. i remember being so excited about finally getting hold of that stainless thing that i peeled a little skin off my finger. from potatoes, other veggies followed--carrots, sayote (chayote), kalabasa (squash), labanos (raddish), gabi (taro), patola (ribbed gourd).... but all the time that i was peeling, i was eyeing the kitchen knife, studying it's movements. "soon", i told myself, "soon, you will be slicing, chopping, dicing, cubing..."
the first time grandma handed the knife to me, she watched ever so closely. over and over she cautioned me to be very careful and keep my fingers away from the blade lest i cut it. it didn't take long for the knife and i to get acquainted for i was already cutting away effortlessly. eventually, grandma would ask me to taste and stir her concoction once in a while. and i knew that anytime, it would soon be me standing in front of the fire. till then, i watched, observed and tinkered.
i cooked my first dish at nine. it was stir-fried baguio beans with ground meat, i remember quite distinctly. it was a little salty, but "impressive for a first try", my grandma commented. from then on, i was tasked to do the cooking for simple dishes which consisted mostly of fried fish and stir-fried veggies.
grandma said that if one cooks, one should also know how to buy them. she would give me pointers on how a fresh fish should look like... even smell like. leafy veggies should be bright green. carrots, onions and potatoes firm. tomatoes should be shiny, she added. my mom, on the other hand, taught me how to quarter-cut a whole chicken.
aside from the standard ingredients, as a young girl i would also create my own. i've come up with stir-fried pansit bihon with pechay, ginisang munggo with eggplant (or potatoes, whichever is available). it might sound strange, but what was stranger still was that it actually tasted okay.
i became more experimental when i became a mom and would come up with new dishes every now and then. i was not too afraid to try on new spices and will keep on stirring and mixing till i found the taste i sought. i guess one's tongue get accustomed somehow for i can duplicate a dish just by tasting.
one thing i learned, though... it isn't advisable to cook when you are unhappy for you come up with food tasting just like the way you feel. order take out. that way you wouldn't have to nurse a broken heart on an empty stomach.
07 June 2007
me thinks
sitting on my work table one night making a new budget list for the month, i wondered how much i've spent since i started earning my own.
it made me smile... i had already been a millionaire. i just didn't have it all at one time.
it made me smile... i had already been a millionaire. i just didn't have it all at one time.
03 June 2007
time in my hands
come june 18, i will be on my 17th year of tenure at the office.
seventeen years... my, that's 6,205 days and i hadn't counted on staying that long. it was not my first job, it was actually my third. i took it as a temp till i found something better--a better job, something better to do with myself, something better to do with my time... apparently i had nothing better to do... hah!
last month i advised my boss that i am planning to take a vacation. yes, after seventeen years, i am finally taking a vacation. i said there are things i have to attend to, which is true, but there were other stuff, too which i didn't say. i didn't have to mention that sometimes things can get so monotonously boring and unfruitful you'd have to find something else to do to keep your spirit alive and sustain your interest. i do not know how long i intend to keep on vacationing. it could be three months at the least, or it could take forever. but i already have a list of things i will do:
seventeen years... my, that's 6,205 days and i hadn't counted on staying that long. it was not my first job, it was actually my third. i took it as a temp till i found something better--a better job, something better to do with myself, something better to do with my time... apparently i had nothing better to do... hah!
last month i advised my boss that i am planning to take a vacation. yes, after seventeen years, i am finally taking a vacation. i said there are things i have to attend to, which is true, but there were other stuff, too which i didn't say. i didn't have to mention that sometimes things can get so monotonously boring and unfruitful you'd have to find something else to do to keep your spirit alive and sustain your interest. i do not know how long i intend to keep on vacationing. it could be three months at the least, or it could take forever. but i already have a list of things i will do:
- put up that business that had been prancing in my mind for the last three years (!)
- take a week or two vacationing in the northern parts with my husband and of course, baby ayel
- ride, ride & ride my bike till i fit comfortably in my clothes again
- take pictures... lots of them
- play the keyboard till i am at ease again
- tidy the house till everything is in place
- read those books i bought last year
- get on with the repair works for the property i am overseeing
- learn soap & candle making (making it the right way, i mean)
- walk along the promenade and sit by the benches at the bay watching the sunset
hello kitty
well what do you know... we just bought ayel her first toothbrush--a pink hello kitty one with tiny bristles (if i have one like it i would probably have to brush one tooth at a time). and i can hardly wait to use it on her.
i never thought buying a toothbrush could be so exciting.
i never thought buying a toothbrush could be so exciting.
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