early morning dance

ayel's sleeping habits have changed these past two weeks. she would awaken at around 11pm and play till 2 or 3 in the morning. though safe inside her crib, i could not bring myself to doze off... not till i am sure she's gone back to sleep. times like these, i let her be. i would simply lie on the bed, watching silently as she amused herself.

ayel would circle her crib, uttering syllables only she can understand. then she would pick her stuffed toys and drop them on the floor one by one. when all her toy companions hit the floor, she would shake her head sideways, saying "aaah.... pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-paaaaa!". later, i would find her sitting down playing with her marge simpson doll or examining her hands--left then right then left.

after a while, i would softly call her name and ask if she wants milk. her face would break into a smile with hands clapping saying "ma-ma-ma-ma-maaaaa!"

last night was no different. she awoke round about the same time and smiled and talked and clapped and played.

by 1:10 in the morning, i was almost ready to take my place beside my husband P who was way past sound asleep. so i turned the soft night light on and hit the sack. lying on my side, i was watching her still. i believe little ayel was singing her very own song. i smiled and slowly rose.

walking towards her, i whispered her name. she raised both hands in the air so i lifted her up and held her close to me. she put her arms around my neck and muttered "na-na-paaaa!" i had no idea what that meant.

in between the dark and the soft night light, with our arms around each other, i slowly danced and rocked her back to sleep.