hearts don't get broken, promises are

browsing through my posts, i noticed that most of what i had written were sad. or somewhat depressing. i guess it's because i had been into a lot of them. i've heard so many times that the zaniest and funniest people are those who have gone through fire and i'm inclined to believe that. pain makes us stronger and having been through worst, there is only one way to look at life from then on : with a smile, or if you can, with laughter. now i look at small and petty things as they are--small and petty.

i knew i've gotten over my cross when i learned to make fun of myself, forgive and accept defeat. i can even look back without regret and bitterness. it actually makes me chuckle everytime i do. besides, i don't want to die a cynical grumpy old woman, wallowing in pain and remorse. what i want to be is me--crazy, funny and fun. if possible, i would like to die laughing.

the usual advice i got from friends then was to "move on". move on...where to? i had no plan B (i.e., in case of dissolution of marriage, press button to deflate; or get hidden plane ticket, withdraw all cash and take europe vacation, have a few drinks, shop till you drop...). so i didn't. i stayed put and planted my feet firmly on the ground so i can stand up. so here i am, standing--with a silly grin on my face like a child come out of mischief (and a boxful of ideas & stories to write about).

i am working on being a better mom, a more loving wife, and a super great grandmom. i am making an effort to spend more chat time with my own mom and share more laughs with her. that is what pain has done to me. time may heal all wounds, but it is laughter that will remind you that there are more things in life other than a broken heart.