love is not a feeling

a friend of mine asked me how i was able to do it.

"do what?" i asked.

"moved on," she said.

move on... there's that word again. "i didn't. i stayed behind and lived on," i answered.

my friend D had her heart broken. it had been three years but she still cries. desperately wanting to be in love, she went in and out of relationships, each one failing miserably. i empathize with her. i do not know exactly how she feels but i know the feeling. she said she felt betrayed and played for a fool. yes, that's one.

ugly and unwanted. two.

worthless. not necessarily but... okay, three.

she found it hard to concentrate not just with work but with living. grave... but true at times. four.

she turns to food. others yes. it's the opposite with me. five.

self-pity and low self-esteem. six. seven.

sceptical and found it hard trusting, men especially. eight.

she went on and on and on...

it's amazing how one can feel several emotions all at the same time. actually it's not "feeling" but rather "a going through".

"love is not a feeling", i told her, "it is an activity". i read it in a book by dr. m. scott peck. it makes sense--love is actually an action word.

"but why do i feel it in my heart" she asked.

""probably the intensity of the emotion, makes the heart beat faster," i said.

what do you do when you are in love? you think about him, you call or text him, you wait for him to call or text you, you cook for him, you do a lot of other things for him (or her) ... all action words. hugs & kisses, too.

it's quite easy to guess when the relationship is about to go pfffttt. he does not call you, he does not return your calls, he breaks your dates, he does not fetch you, he forgets special ocassions, he dates another girl...

but love is not only a verb. it is also a decision, which by the way is also an action word.