my grandma passed away three days ago. it's sad but i believe she's lived her life to the fullest though i will never know if there are things she wished she did. but her children are all grown and married, and half of her grandchildren have their own families as well. looking at her pictures on the wall at the parlor where she lay, my mind raced back to the past where she was younger and strong... my mom and her siblings even younger... my cousins and i mere children running around, quite unfamiliar with this reality called life.
grandma used to host these parties and celebrations. she decides on the what, the where and the how. now it's her children who does. us kids took the place of my mom's generation and our children now holds the seat we once occupied. i looked at my granddaughter ayel, still unmindful of the goings-on around her. she is now the child her father used to be. i am glad ayel will know she was there when we said goodbye to her great-great grandmother.
i wonder how grandma felt when i was born--i was her first grandchild. she took care of me when i was a child so my mom could go back to school. i used to watch her as she sat on her sewing machine, making dresses for us. my dolls used to have dresses of the same cloth and cut as mine. i watched her as she worked in the kitchen. i think it was from her where i learned how to cook.
but what i remember most about her were the afternoons where she sat on the piano and played those waltzes. i would sit beside her and watch her fingers as they roamed about the ivory keys. at five, she taught me how to play. i haven't played in more than twenty years. my fingers are rusty and i have forgotten some of my pieces but i have gotten back to it. i will definitely teach ayel to play the piano when she's older. that way she will have something of me that used to be my grandma's...
No comments:
Post a Comment