into the blur 3 : a masquerade ball

at first, everything looked as if it was going to be great between them. they used to talk a lot about so many things... took walks by the bay at night... danced to slow music... laughed and held hands most of the time... she felt secure--at least for a while.

he said he would give up drinking--she didn't ask him to. but he did, for a while. then his friends started coming over on occasions at first, till she noticed that they come over after every payday. hers, of course. then it became an every-weekend thing. she didn't mind... at first. but gradually, she started hating it whenever he became drunk for he would turn into some kind of fool devoid of all reason. he would taunt her as if testing how far she could go. he would open up issues, mostly about her family. how he resented it each time she gave them something, anything. she had already seen his violent streak, which presents itself quite very often.

while he kept things from her, he made it his business to know everything. who texted... who called... where she went... he was always lingering about, watching them from the side of his eyes each time her mother came to visit. he would make her recount each and every little detail of what they have talked about. he would demand that she tell him every single thing she intend to do before doing them. she felt stupid--handing her pay over to him when it should be the other way around. she didn't want them to fight about money so she let him handle whatever she earned. to shut him up.

all she wanted was for him to be happy and content. she thought sharing with him everything she had would be enough. but the more she gave in, the more unreasonable his demands became. he was trying to change her into something she will never become. the relationship she thought they had is turning into a tug-of-war. he had to be right, always. if he didn't have his way, he'll go berserk and kick things around. he also had this habit of waking her up in the middle of her sleep just to ask about trivial things that can wait till morning. or he would purposely turn on the lights and slam doors to rouse her.

she felt herself slowly drifting away from him. everything has to be about him, how he feels, what he wants... she talked less, smiled even lesser, kept to herself more and more each day. it was as if he was two different persons. he would be nice one day, crazy and mean the other--like one wearing a mask. problem was, she couldn't figure out which one is the face and which is the mask.

lying in bed with her back against him, her eyes were closed but she was secretly awake. her thoughts no longer in random--she was thinking of a way to get herself out of the ball.